A response to Kevin Myers - The Leprechaun

Mr Myers, the obvious thing to do to an article like yours would have been to give a well thought out response in hopes of getting a productive dialogue started.  But I don’t think your article was designed for such things. No, I think it has a different purpose.  I mean I can try and explain as to why the West is mostly responsible for the horrible situations that are happening in Africa today or every other continent for that matter and how it goes as far back as the days of Western colonialism and Slavery. I can also talk about the hypocrisy of the West and how it still exploits the rest of the world through fancily named organizations like “The World Bank”, IMF, WTO etcetera. The hypocrisy was never more evident than at  the recent G8 Summit where Gordon Brown, the British Prime Minister, urged the rest of the world to” not waste food” as he and the rest of the leaders gorged on an 18 course meal . But of course, you already have the pre-canned standard answer, “Why is it’s always the West’s fault?’  or ‘stop blaming others for your own failures’.  No, I think there is more to your bile diatribe than just meets the stomach.

I can also start with the title of your article - “Africa is giving nothing to anyone - apart from AIDS” which is deliberately mean spirited but hopelessly flawed.  Mr Myers, as you know, we had always been told that the first case of the AIDS virus was apparently discovered in Africa, if one is to believe the Western theory of the origin if the AIDS virus, of course. So, if that is true, the next obvious question is how did it get to the rest of the world? But as you confidently stated in your article, we Africans are incurably ignorant and  incapable of doing anything as basic as feeding ourselves let alone come up with a plan to import a deadly disease to the other side of the globe. So, the next question is, did we actually give it to you, or did you take it from us?  Yes, Mr Myers, we didn’t give it to you - you took it from us, just like you did and still do with everything else. And  who is the less intelligent ‘species’ one in this equation?

I can also talk about how a man, who supposedly has seen it all first hand, can have such mean and hateful things to say about innocent victims? I am curious to know what made you care to ‘tour the territory on foot and financially’ in the first place? Was it the human side, which I’m convinced you have none after reading your article, or your tabloid journalist side? Were you there for a sincere compassion cause or for a  Kevin Cater picture moment? At least Kevin Carter took his life, whatever his reason. No, I am not suggesting that you do the same, because you don’t strike me as the type with such conviction.

Your arrogance and pomposity, it seems, has no limit. You seemed to be worried more about your Irish readers than the readers from the rest of the world. How provincial one can get, especially when it comes at the expense of the miserable no good poor Ethiopians who have nothing to give to the rest of the world except a deadly disease.

And what exactly was the purpose of comparing the Irish famine to Ethiopia’s? Aside from the factual inaccuracy you provided on the length of the,” Great Irish Famine“ which by most accounts occurred between 1845 and 1849, I really could not understand the logic.  First of all, the Ethiopian population did not double, let alone more than double, between the 1980’s and now. But “white lies” and all aside, don’t you think you kind of defeated your own argument there with your point about the Hercules and Mercedes reference - cute to be sure - but so obviously obtuse? Of course we have more means to deliver food to many staving people compared to say 200 YEARS AGO! - thus helping people live longer.  

As for the Lockheed Hercules reference, I am sure you are aware, being an accomplished and well travelled Western journalist and all, that when the West sends the Lockheed Hercules to some of these miserable famine regions, it also makes sure that it balances it out by sending a few other Lockheed products like the F-15’s, F-16’s, U2’s etc to that same government for different reason. Right? You know, just to keep the cycle of what you called ‘idiotic wars’ going.  

You also had the audacity to write that we Africans are outstripping our resources.  And which ones would those be, Mr.  Myers? Let me see, could it be the oil that is being pumped out of the Nigerian Delta by Western murderous companies like Shell and Chevron or the diamonds which are being robbed from Sierra Leone and Liberia?  How about in our own backyard in Ethiopia where your people are hoarding our indigenous grain, teff for their luxury as if we have a surplus of it? Yeah, ignore the West’s insatiable and voracious appetite for natural resources and the plundering and polluting of the environment. But the facts don’t matter, do they?  It’s always us the darkies, isn’t it sir?  Well, it’s typical of the West.  It’s like beating an innocent man bloody, robbing his money, leave him on the ground and later charging him with loitering for letting his blood run on the ground. Talk about taking responsibility for your own actions. 

But that’s not what caught my attention about your article.  It is something rather peculiar. Mr. Myers, to be honest, I have never seen such vivid and repeated sexual references for a serious and sobering opinion.

It starts with your bizarre characterization of people as:

“…dysfunctional economic, social and sexual system”.

Sexual system?  What is that Mr. Myers, - a new category to define the wretched in poor parts of the world?  

Your hateful characterization was not limited just to Ethiopia. Oh no! You wrote of Africa as an entire continent:  

“…of sexually hyperactive indigents, (emphasis mine) with tens of millions of people who only survive because of help from the outside world.”  

And we don’t even use Viagra! Can you imagine if we did?

You sounded like a white Southern racist during the days of slavery in the US, when you flawlessly managed to infuse your racist tendencies with your curious sexual obsession with Africans and wrote:

“Indeed, voodoo idiocy seems to be in the ascendant, with the next president of South Africa being a firm believer in the efficacy of a little tap water on the post-coital penis as a sure preventative against infection.”

Journalism at its best!

There’s more.  Recounting one of your many past good deeds, you spoke of a young man in Ethiopia by declaring:

“The wide-eyed boy-child we saved, 20 years or so ago, is now a priapic, Kalashnikov-bearing hearty, siring children whenever the whim takes him.”

You know Mr Myers, a normal and decent human being would be happy or even proud of his own humanitarian act in extending a helping hand to a child who, through no fault of his own, was put in a miserable situation, no matter how that person turns out as an adult. But I sensed some serious anger and bitterness in that statement of yours.  What were your hopes for that wide eyed young man, anyways?  Were you hoping he would join the Catholic Church? No, I am not hinting at anything here and yes I do know that you are of the Catholic faith. Stop being so sensitive! Anyway, at least that ‘wide eyed 20 year old’ had, right or wrong, the courage of his convictions to fight for what he believed in.  In other words, Mr Myers, he was not a coward like some who have convinced themselves that they are part of the solution by sitting behind a computer and by picking on innocent victims who can not defend themselves.  Speaking of cowards, don’t you come from a country where, as recently as 10 years ago, innocent men women and children were being blown up in a cowardly way in the streets in your cities instead of fighting the enemy face to face like the 20 year old you wrote about? 

But back to your comment. Priapic?  As curious as I was about your comment on the “dysfunctional-ity” of our “economic, social and sexual system”, the word “priapic” jumped out at me like African cheetah at a racist European tourist. And being the uneducated, voodoo riddled, wide-eyed African that I am, I looked it up in the dictionary. And the most common definition of the word is:

Priapic - overly concerned with masculinity and male sexuality.

Are you starting to see the pattern here yourself?

You continued:

How much morality is there in saving an Ethiopian child from starvation today, for it to survive to a life of brutal circumcision, poverty, hunger, violence and sexual abuse…”

Funny you mentioned sexual abuse because just the other day, I was reading about employees from a Swiss NGO who were accused of child molestation in Addis Ababa, where they were there to supposedly help needy children. Well well, Mr. Myers, it seems that some Europeans have a different opinion than yours. I guess some Africans, especially young boys and girls, may indeed have something to give to the rest of the world especially to Europeans. How is that for a ‘broad-brush stroke’? How does it feel when it brush runs on the other direction?

I also skipped a few sexual references, because I figured you’d get the picture by now. You have more sexual references in one article than a gynecologist diagnosing a patient with STD.  Is this just simply your style or perhaps a symptom to a more serious and personal issue like a deprivation of some sort which manifests itself in one’s everyday life? Subconsciously, of course?  And I am not being flippant about this; I am very serious.

After I read your article, I was curious about you so I looked you up on the internet, to see your contribution to the world.  I even saw your picture and could not help muse how you could have fit real comfortably with those Afrikaners who have been killing and torturing black people in South Africa during Apartheid.  But who am I to judge? That is reserved only for you intelligent  European types, right?

What is strange about your views is that, for an isolationist, you seem to have your nasty and lascivious fingers caught in almost all parts Africa more often than a six year old’s hand in a cookie jar. And of course, predictably, I found a few more similar hateful articles about this race and that color. 

So, what is the purpose of your article? What is the subtext of it? What exactly are you suggesting Mr. Myers?  Population control for Africans only especially Ethiopians? Even though you have not come out and told us directly, the only conclusion we - at least speaking for myself, can come to is that you’d rather see these starving people die than see them multiply.  In other words, since we Ethiopians only have the AIDS virus to offer to the rest of the world, it is best to let us die and reduce our population to a manageable number so on your next financial tour you do not have to give as much.  

But the problem with that approach is that, as stated in your ‘honest’ and ‘factual’ article (according to many readers including, sadly enough, some Ethiopians) we are multiplying faster than we are dying!

So there are, as far as I can tell, two other ways of controlling a population.  One is exterminating people in mass, a la Hitler or Stalin, but it appears that the West is having difficulty keeping up with the ‘legal’ or ‘justified’ way of killing innocent people using fake or as you called it, ‘idiotic wars’ in Iraq, which by the way you enthusiastically supported.   

The other way is population control through some sort of government policy.  But as you have concluded in your article, we Africans are inherently stupid and incapable of implementing such intelligent policies. So, since it is practically impossible to prevent a bunch of “sexually hyperactive indigents” from having intercourse, the only other option is to let them have sex but prevent them from conceiving. I am no expert in this field, but it seems to me that there is only one way to accomplish that.  And that is to convert every starving male population in Ethiopia to homos… No you are not suggesting that, are you?  Hmmm, now I see where that animosity and bitterness towards that 20 year old came from! Unfortunately for you Mr Myers, that kind of stuff is not only frowned upon strongly in our country, (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but it can also be a source of some undesired pain and discomfort especially for someone like you.  I guess you don’t know us Ethiopians as well as you thought you did.

I read recently that Meles Zenawi won a leadership award from a US based newspaper called Africa Times. Most fittingly, the award ceremony was held in Los Angeles, at The Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood California, the make believe capital of the world. Is there anything more appropriate and at the same time ironic than giving a “leadership” award to an imposter like Meles in Hollywood California at a hotel named “Renaissance”? You think Meles and his gang saw the irony in this? Nah, that’d be asking too much of their minds.

Accepting the award on behalf of Meles Zenawi, Ambassador Taye Atske Selassie, Consul General of Ethiopia in Hollywood, correction, Los Angeles, said that he wished Mr. Zenawi himself was there to receive the award in person. But he told the audience that Mr Zenawi was location in the Moyale desert working as hard as ever to start another border war, this time with Kenya. OK I made this part up.

What is interesting about this story is it comes on the heels of the news that Meles finally admitted giving away some ‘disputed’ land to the Sudanese government along the Ethio-Sudanese border from 100 years ago. Disputed for 100 years? I got news for you Mr. Zenawi, your whole presence in Ethiopia is disputed! And will be for 100 years. What is this man doing trying to ‘settle’ a 100 year old land deal? How did a 100 year old border dispute get at the top of the agenda in Meles’ Parliament over so many of the other urgent issues facing the country, like the current food shortage around the world, the Somali endless occupation or even the Ethio-Eritrea border issue which was the cause for the needless death of so many Ethiopians and Eritreans? I am almost positive that the Sudanese were probably shocked to find out that Meles was planning to resolve this issue now. I can just imagine how the conversation went.

Meles: Hello President Bashir, remember that border dispute between our countries which started about 50 years before we were born?

Bashir: Uuuhh…not really…I think so… yes? What about it?

Meles: Well, I came up with a solution for it. You can have it, it is all yours.

Bashir: Oh no no, Mr Bresident, it is really not necessary, we don’t need it. We have blenty of oil now we are rich and growing. Really, we are OK.

Meles: No no no, take it take it. Just consider it a gift from my people, not Ethiopian of course, but my Tigrean people.

Bashir: Blease Mr Bresident …my beoble are OK…

Meles: I said take it, OK? It is a goodwill gesture from my beoble, I mean people. Don’t worry about it.

Bashir: OK, if you say so.

This is unbelievable! And now, what do we hear? Mr Zenawi’s forces attacked a military base inside Sudan and killed 19 people? What the hell is going on here? What exactly is Meles plotting?

Reading the story, I could not help be amused at some of the comments. A Sudanese army spokesman said:

“This was an attack and we don’t know the reason — we have no problem with Ethiopia and there are no border disputes or tribal clashes in that area,”

Well Mr spokesman, I guess you don’t know your neighbors that well do you? I suggest you have a little chat with the Somalis about Meles’ border etiquette. You might learn a few things and save a few lives in the future.

Bereket Simon, the ever colorful former mis-information minister to the Meles regime and now ‘special adviser’ offered this gem.

… the problem was that the long frontier was not properly demarcated. ” Sometimes locals from both sides trespass and minor incidents do happen,”

Yep, he is special alright! The border was not demarcated properly, so as it is customary with the Meles regime, how do you demarcate a border? With innocent people’s blood, just like Bademe. Mr Simon continued:

“If there was a minor incident involving local inhabitants … Ethiopia is confident both governments will solve the problem in accordance with the prevailing peaceful norms we maintain.”

Minor incident? Only someone from a regime like Meles’ would consider the death of 19 people as a ‘minor incident’.

One Sudanese security source and another government official said the attack may have been because Sudan had given refuge a to local Ethiopian officials few weeks earlier and had refused to hand them over to Addis Ababa.

Get out! You’re not accusing this Meles regime of retaliating for something as innocent and legal as sheltering some political refugees, are you? I am shocked! So unlike them.

It was not clear why the officials sought refuge in Sudan. Ethiopia is fighting rebels from the Oromo region which borders Sudan and who want greater autonomy for their areas.

Now that’s funny. Not clear why the officials sought refuge in Sudan? Hmm, let me see…why do monkeys run back up to the tree when they see the alligator coming out of the water?

As if the meaningless war with Eritrea and the invasion of a sovereign country in Somalia was not enough, Meles is now looking for a new adventure. Is it me or does Mr Zenawi strikes you as a mad man going around the neighborhood lighting fires and watching it burn? What is his motive? What is he scheming? And how does any organization justify giving an award of any kind to such a man?

Wait, there’s more. From the ‘Now What?’ file, the Djibouti government announced that it would introduce a new tariff on port services. And guess who is whining about it? Yep, the same man who decided that Ethiopia was better off without the services of the port of Assab when he decided to give away Eritrea to Issays as the first step in his long term plan to dismantle and dissolve the country known as Ethiopia. Meles apparently has dispatched his Trade and Industry Minister Girma Birru, (don’t you love the name, a trade and industry minister named Birru!) to Djibouti to talk some sense into them. An Ethiopian government source or a buffer to Meles said:

“The imposition of a new tariff without prior consultation would be unfair and difficult to accept,”

Translation: just because Mr Zenawi has been busy ‘resolving’ his other border issues with his other neighbors, it doesn’t mean that he does not have time for Djibouti. Mr Zenawi can walk and chew on starting another conflict at the same time. Someone better warn these Djiboutians that Meles would not hesitate to free them from a tyrant and a dictator any time just like he did in Somalia.

The source/buffer also said:

“The impact would hurt Ethiopia, which is suffering from inflation and rising global food and oil prices.”

Hmm, didn’t Mr Zenawi say that Ethiopia’s economy has ‘grew well’ despite soaring food and energy cost? So, which is it Their Excellency?

According to the article Djiboutian officials “could not immediately be contacted”.  

Oh God, I hope they are not where I think they are. Can someone check the basement of Djibouti to see if there’s anyone there?