RAISON D’ETRE
RAISON D’ETRE
By Ketsela
“I am a man: I regard nothing that concerns man as foreign to my interest”
A Latin proverb
On many occasions I feel we Ethiopians are in the west with one purpose in mind, to some day return. However, there seemed no time limit for our actions to date. It has never crossed our mind as to what? When? And How? I do not know about many of you but I always feel that it was only yesterday I left the country. Time continues to travel faster than the speed of light. What happen to it? When I was back in Ethiopia the day kept lingering slowly; forget about the week and the month. Then there are so many things that do not equate with the reality of life. Am I really the owner of the house I just bought? Or am I that much secured in my career and employment? Or do I really have an Ethiopian friend whom I met here in the U.S. All these and other positions or combination of circumstances at this moment brought me to only one question; what are we?
Are we for real what we claim to be? Rich, intellectual, maker and breaker of the market. I ask all of you to sit down and right ten things about you both positive and negative. Yes, ten is enough. What is important here is you are not the only one with these many negative characteristics; any human on this earth has the same problems as we all do. But I feel many of ours problems could easily be solved with a goal in mind, a time management and the unnecessary competition amongst us. The average Ethiopian, if seriously considered his life he or she can attain success in life be it educational, spiritual and financial. Yet on a daily basis we engage in looking better than the person next to us. Let me bring the most important things for our objectives.
First, in the U.S. education is given to all who deem to enroll in any capacity. Our purpose to come to America includes first and foremost being someone educationally successful. Many parents left their well-to-do life for the sake of their children to be able to go to school to become “Doctors”. However, children who came from Ethiopia assimilate with the existing youth culture and continue to disappoint the parents. The result of these actions by the children ended up in absolute hopelessness and many of the parents ended up being mentally unbalanced. Some had committed suicide.
Second, many of the young men and women of college bound ages cover their shame of being illiterate by accumulation of clothes, furniture and brand new Camry’s and lavishly spend their hard earned money in highly crowded Ethiopian restaurants and bars as if there is no tomorrow. Many act and falsely feel well dressed, impressive manner and act to be role model but who are nothing but illiterate in both reading and writing. Trust me; I used to test math and English for Vocational Counseling agency where many Ethiopian come for job search. The max score they make was third grade level.
Third, competition, competition; that’s all we do to ourselves. Someone buy a house, we go and buy one. Designer clothes, we go and buy it. Education, are you kidding? I believe there are many things good about competition; it has a social facilitation effect if intended for personal improvement. Not with us Ethiopians. Actually for the purpose of defense mechanism, we whole-heartedly engage in political argument (mind you I did not use the word discussion) or become abusive by merely using the little English they know by responding “I don’t speak that language”. Forgive me, sir do you speak English?
Fourth, our union by marriage has a trend of avoiding our ignorance and lack of knowledge by jumping on Ethiopian Airlines to go back to pick and choose a younger and presumably innocent young lady, far younger than ourselves. Yes, readers I am aware of the young ladies’ objectives and ulterior motives but the desire of the man was that the new bride is going to “love and obey” him. I am reminded of the adage “you can’t teach an old dog a new trick”. And so the new life begins when the abusiveness of the man of accusing her of ogling and leering other men. This accusation does not have any ground. Yet, the fear of the husband is rooted all in his mind. I do not know about you but I know for sure women tended to acculturate with the American life style far better than men. It could be the fact men tend to waste their time in an Ethiopian restaurant and bar and women tend to befriend with American women. Now what seemed to be wrong with this picture? Can someone tell me as to why they do not look for a significant half here and now in America? My assumption is that the ones here are better in their life style, language, culture and hey, most of all the women know the legal system. Well, as long I am guessing let me add one more fear men possess in general; due to their educational level they have to go to places to avoid being a subject in their absence. I remember one night at an Ethiopian restaurant I eavesdropped the conversation of men in their forties; there were two women sitting and having a good time with dinner. The women were drinking Black label with beer chaser. Yes, it was Becks too. The three gentlemen actually were counting the number of drinks the ladies were drinking. Of, course they were drink themselves Beck’s every 20 to 30 minutes. Why? Then in a good Ethiopian nightclub the place is always crowded with both genders but nobody is dancing to the tune of the music. Men like to have the courage to ask soon as they are loaded. That brings another subject of fear of rejection.
Fifth, the churches, Mosques and community agencies are mostly led by individuals who had been in this country longer than most people and never in actual fact were exposed to the real American culture and sub-culture. They can easily be the judges and the jury on the young women in general. These community leaders may have been here in person but I guarantee you they have not left their country in their mental state.
Finally, I understand many are tied in their duel life they live in this country supporting two homes, here and in Ethiopia. Bless them! But they have to start to think “give a fish I will eat it today, teach me how to fish I will eat it forever”. It is time to think to send those means of making money. Copy machine, sewing machine, tools, etc.
This is my side of observation. I seriously believe we have a long-standing belief that we are afraid of changes. It will never sink in us that one day the change is for the betterment of all of us. Think about it.






