The Two Mirrors

 By Wegat

It is a well known fact that we all see ourselves in a completely different light than how others see us. However there are some that leave us with the question of, exactly what type of mirror do you look into or what voices do you hear in your head when you speak?

Like most things, it started with very good intentions and high hopes. I was told by my well meaning younger sister,

"I have given your email to someone so make sure you don't respond saying, you got the wrong gal, like I know you would."

I asked all the questions of course, what is his name, where does he live, how do you know him and so forth......

A few days later the email arrived. So our story begins.

We emailed back and forth a few times before we exchanged numbers and started talking. We had hours and hours worth of conversation and were amazed on how similar our interests and thoughts were on many subjects. Early on we had decided not to exchange pictures. However we had attempted to describe ourselves to each other verbally. Hmmm....... This is where it gets interesting.

One thing I have to say is if we ladies see ourselves in half the light our male counterparts see themselves in, boy the world would have been a totally different place.

Anyway to get back to the story, the time came to meet in person so I made the travel to his residential city. He asked, "How would you recognize me at the airport?" I answered, "You have my heart don't you, how could I not?" So I flew after making all the necessary preparation to meet my dream man. For the ladies, you know how it goes; the hair, toes, finger nails, eye brow and so forth all have to be done to perfection. For the gents, all I have to say is, you have no idea what we go thru.

I saw him from afar and the first thought that came to my mind was "My friend certainly thinks very highly of himself." And then I convinced myself how that could be a positive attribute in this competitive world today. So I approached him and called him by his name hesitantly. He added a big smile to his face as he put together the name and voice to the face and body that is standing before him. We said our greetings and set our way to his car with a nervous silence as the third wheel.

I gave us a couple of hours to go past the nervousness and start enjoying each other. Unfortunately that moment never arrived. My charming, talkative, confident friend I made over the phone seized to exist. I was not only misinformed about his physical appearance but was fooled by the person he projected to be. All the things he enjoyed doing in theory seemed to no longer interest him in practice.

Well, maybe it will get better tomorrow. NOT. It got worse. Based on conversations we have had, I had an idea of what we will be doing the next day. Which I assumed my new friend will also enjoy. He came to pick me up looking like he was going to a club. I asked if he going to be comfortable in his attire and he stated this is how he dresses on the weekend. OK then. One thing we never discussed was our income level. So I thought, maybe my new friend is loaded and I don't know it yet. A pair of $150 dollar jeans to walk around town and chill is a little to high maintenance for me. But what do I know I am just an Ethiopian girl trying to live the best life she can muster. So we went.

He looked like he was putting too much effort into everything we were doing. When I made comments or enquiries about the area or an object he got very defensive. He claimed he did not have time to do the things he likes to do, so for the most part this is the first time he himself is experiencing some of the things we were doing. So I said no problem it will be a great memory for both of us. But I thought that is not what you said over the phone.

After lunch, I claimed I was tired and would like to go back to the hotel room and rest. Once I got there, the first thing I did was changed my flight from evening to morning. And then I called my ride and let her know that I will be arriving about six hours early.

I gave some lousy excuse for my early departure at dinner and he still offered a ride and refused to let me take a cab to the airport. What a gentleman (sincerely). So Sunday morning me, my guilt and my luggage got a ride from my new friend to the airport and as we were saying our goodbyes he handed me a gift box. I thanked him for his hospitality and generosity put the box in my bag with the assumption of it being candy and boarded the plane with a sigh of relief.

I had forgotten about the box until that evening when I was unpacking. I walked toward my friends to share some chocolate as I unwrapped the box. In it there was no chocolate but what looked like an engagement ring. Nothing fancy but still an engagement ring. All I can say is "What was he thinking?" or "Am I that good of an actress?"

You be the judge. Go easy on me please.

WHO AM I ?

I was never elected as a leader of the country, and yet I have stayed in power for many years.

My party cheated on the election, not once but twice to obtain and maintain power.

I allowed district's maps in the country to be redrawn in order to benefit my party during elections.

On one of the elections, the dispute was settled by the highest court in the country which ruled that I was the winner.

I had no experience in leading a nation when I became the leader of the country.

Once I was elected, I packed the courts and other government institutions in the country with people who are loyal to me and answer only to me.

My cabinet is filled with ‘yes' men and women who do not ask tough questions.

My government has been plagued by corruption, scandal and cronyism ever since I have been in power.

I invaded a nation in retaliation and to an 'attack' by its ruthless dictator. In the past, my country had been a staunch supporter of this dictator. In fact, I supplied him with weapons and other material aid so he can opress, imprison and harass his own people .

I don't care much for democracy although I give a lip service to it and I can't stand its advocates. Deep inside, I prefer a dictatorship.

I have defied the international community and thus do not abide by international law.

I have no problem lying go the people and my arrogance knows no bounds.

I have no respect for opposition parties and voices. I just as soon harass and imprison them than sit down and iron out our differences.

I use clandestine tactics of intimidation such as bombing innocent people and blame it on my political and ideological oppositions in order to garner support from the people.

I spy on my fellow citizens in the name of national security.

I am committed to limiting free speech and free media in the name of national security.

I violate the constitutional rights of my citizens by preventing them from exercising their right to assemble and demonstrate.

I use my special forces to crush any uprising and defend their actions by saying they were fighting 'thugs' even if they kill innocent men women and children in cold blood.

ANSWER?

Ethiopian Version

By Ketsela

“Our problems cannot be solved with the same consciousness that created them”.

Albert Einstein

I always wonder if this word implies traumatic experience only. I certainly understand its illegality and the subsequent consequences. Yet, I also keep thinking aren’t we all, in some degree or the other, sexist, racist, homophobic, and fully exercised it in our life. I always remember my Child Psychology professor who said soon after the child was born “Until this time all were equal in the mother’s womb but from this day on their differences will keep stretching far away from one another”. This was true then and this is true now. Many times we Ethiopians have the tendency to stick our heads in the sand when race, nationality and color become an issue in our conversation. We always sweep our dirt under the couch. But lo and behold! If there is a rating for the most racist people in the world, we will be number one in all facets. We like to speak evil of others; we have a tendency to identify ourselves, as “Is he/she an Ethiopian or African”. These and others are purely the product of ignorance by all means. I hope readers will understand the issue is not solely identified to non-educated Ethiopians but the highly educated too. I will never ever blame the non-educated Ethiopians for being racist. That is all they knew and that for them seemed to be god given right to them. I would like to present this subject from personal experiences, and from the little I know in politics and history.

I looked in everything we do and act; then I came with many questions and some are to do with love, hate and apathy. Why should one marry this not that? Why must one become a Muslim and not a Christian? Why must we find one to be ugly or beautiful? Why on earth do we care more or less to other human beings? Why then one born short and the other tall, handicapped, black or white, rich or poor…. Aren’t all these considered to be discriminatory from one to the other? Yes, indeed! Let me quote from Webster’s Dictionary the meaning of discrimination:

To mark or perceive the distinguishing or peculiar features of.

That does not really sound as bad as I thought. The way that sounds is that it is you, them, and me. Aren’t we? But if we start looking from the higher ground, the psychological, historical and personal trauma it had inflicted, be it in Ethiopia or America, it is the same. I like to concentrate within these two countries of which I had quite a lot of experiences. If at all these offend you, my sincere apology to all.

Let me take you all to Ethiopia on 747 Ethiopian air Lines and let me even be generous and make it first class. This is the country I love and mine. As they say in the hood “You can take the man from the Ghetto but you cannot take the Ghetto out of the man”. The Ethiopia I know was only exposed to me after I left the country in 1970. Growing up in the most educated area of the country of which such organization as the birth place of the first elementary and high school, Menelik II, the first modern University, the Parliament, the YMCA, and of course the first Dodge car that oozed through during the Menelik era. Excuse me if this was not your expectation of Arat Kilo, but it is the truth. It is the Ethiopia I knew and grew up and somewhat naïve. I was a very proud young man, named Ketsela. Proud Ethiopian, named Ketsela, proud Oromia, Named Ketsela. I have been there and done that without any remorse and always considered to be no better or worse than any kid of my age. Yes! I used to admire our heroes, the King, uniformed men, but had always set myself to be one of them..ONE DAY. Readers it is not yet too late. I have not lost hope at all.

It’s like “Hey ever heard of little things added up to make or break the identity of self and maladaptive fantasy-life manifesting itself through inappropriately weak personal boundaries’?” Hello? What does an ethnic group got to do to come to terms with other groups of the same nationality. The dynamics of changes in the world be it science, technology, culture and/or legal rights remain stagnant in Ethiopia. We are racist by all definitions, prejudice by any standard…color, race, physical stature, language, place of birth, family tree.

Let me just go through some of our problem of which we refuse to admit. Jokes! Of all the many of the nationalities the most joked about are the Garages and the Oromo’s. Money and business to the Gurages; foolishness and stupidity to the Oromos. Go ahead and raise your voice! It has been the truth until very recently and it is now being e-mailed and discussed in small groups. Sometimes I look at my passport issued in 1970 with ethnicity marked as Galla. Then I remember occasions that I always remember the ignorance and the racist means of expressions. I remember in tenth grade a friend of mine took me to his house and introduced me to his mother, “Mom, this is Ketsela Feyssa my friend”. She turned to her son and raised her voice and said “You fool don’t call this nice young man Feyssa, there are better names than that”. Hello? It is a noble name had she found out what the meaning of it was. No, please I am not holding any ill-feeling at all towards this nice mother. Then I remember here in Minnesota mentioning to a well-church-educated from Gonadar who when I jokingly asked him to name his future son Feyssa. Oh! He raised his hands up on the air as if begging to the God to save him from such an unwanted name in his family. Certainly I do not hold this against him. He or the mother of my friend means no harm to me. I learn my lesson from observation, reading and most of all from the exposure I got working with Ethiopians and Eritreans.

In the long-run the victims of such differences are the Amharas. The feudal era which still could be observed and portrayed by many Amhara nationalists have left quite a big scar in the minds of the southern most of Ethiopia. In as far as I am concerned the guilty party in this wave of discrimination is the degreed Ethiopian particularly the PhD. I believe they all hold a utilitarian view about themselves and other Ethiopians. Once they obtained their degree they made no effort to improve themselves and pioneer goodwill and unity among the people of Ethiopia. There is a need to write history of the many nationalities of Ethiopia. The bottle is half empty if only the Amhara-Tigray history is taught in the Ethiopian school system. The truth is I always consider these individuals as watermelon-headed with an IQ equal or less to their own age. Pardon me!, if I amassed the good, the bad and the ugly but that is how I see them all.

Excuse me if I opened the wound but what I see is what I get. I can’t be proud of the flag when there is ill-will amongst us. But I certainly assure you, I feel good when it is raised on the world forum for the deeds of our heroes. Finally I would like to clear the air to the readers that I am what I am but the rise of any group to slice the country only bring pain and injury to all. We need to look into how we can make it together without any malice.

Want Some Bullets With That Bread?

So, on one side Mr. Chris Smith, the Congressman from NJ is reportedly pushing a legislation, which would supposedly put the Meles regime in place, hopefully in the ‘big house' at popo-lare, (I will bite my tongue here), and on the other Mr. Wolfowitz, a G W Bush protégé, is putting money in the bloody hands of the regime through back channels in the name of "Protection of Basic Services". Interesting name, isn't it? I wonder whose basic services these people are protecting. Not the Ethiopian poor, that's for damn sure. Don't you just admire the commitment and dedication of institutions like World Bank, IMF, and WTO to help the poor around the world?

Fresh from a failed and still failing policy of preemption, Mr. Wolfowitz is now spreading the Bush style democracy around the rest of the world using the same expertise that landed him this curious promotion as a Director to one of the most secretive international institutions. Only this time his weapon is money, instead of...well, real weapons as in bombs and tanks. That's right Wolfie, be creative with your resources. You're doing a heck'f a job! I mean, why limit this man's talent to just one failure in one country like Iraq, when he can share it with the rest of the world? Hey, the world is full of desperate hungry souls in need of Mr. Wolfowitz's compassionate touch. So what if some AK-47 rounds were accidentally left in those moneybags from World Bank for the Woyane regime to be distributed fairly and equitably to the needy poor in Ethiopia?

According to the Washington Post, one of Wolfowitz's lieutenants Mr. Ishac Diwan, the country Director for Ethiopia and Sudan at the world said:

"we truly put good governance at the center".

Sure, nothing like a backdoor or more accurately, backhanded diplomacy to bring good governance and democracy to the oppressed around the world. Good governance??? Good God!!

"Quarterly reviews will assess whether money is being disbursed regardless of beneficiaries' political affiliations..."

And who will be doing the reviews? All the independent media have been put out of commission for all intents and purposes. So, we are going to rely on the state media to update Mr Diwan on how money is disbursed to the needy? No Mr Diwan, the Woyane regime tells people what their political affiliations should be, sir. Is this one of those nice sounding one liners like PBS? Well, at least they are consistent. The issue here is not so much the disbursement of funds, as much as it is the way it is used to influence political affiliation, Mr Diwan, to put it in a diplomatic way. And in its extreme form, the money is used to coerce the beneficiaries' political affiliation.

I think the whole thing was summed up neatly by Aklilu Demissie's excellent article , "Stifling democracy through budget support" who wrote:

"Ishac Diwan can not be more Ethiopian than the deeply troubled people of Ethiopia. He can not articulate what is best by what so ever standard for the needy and marginalized Ethiopians. Be he or the World Bank would have served Ethiopians if they had the gut to stop the treachery of the régime. If they really committed themselves to democratic governance, why are they not able to stop arbitrary detentions and summary killings of political opponents? Incarceration of political opponents is still a day today phenomenon."

Mr Diwan further joked that:

"... the government has agreed to release an unprecedented amount of information about how it is spending money at all levels, "so people can lobby for good services."

What exactly does that mean? What lobby? So people have to lobby for basic good service now? Is this guy serious? The WB is now making deals with third world thugs regarding accountability? Well then, why do we need the UN? We might as well shut it down. Mr Anan, please turn off the Koffee machine, if you will, and the lights when you leave.

I don't know what is more astonishing; the fact that this hideous organization is so blatant in its excuse to continue to provide this regime with funds or our (us in the Diaspora), naivety in continuing to believe that organizations like World Bank have the best interest of the poor people in Ethiopia or the rest of the developing countries for that matter. I mean, does Wolfowitz really believe that the money given to the local governments will not somehow reach the federal government's treasure chest? How many times and in how many ways do these people have to insult the intelligence of the Ethiopian people before we wake up and see the light?

I wonder where Congressman Smith stands on this issue? Or does he even stand at all, given that you need a backbone to stand and all? But then again, the Chris Smith-backbone is surgically attached or connected to the Bush-Bone and the Bush-Bone is connected to Witzbone (as in Wolfowitz), the Witzbone is connected to the, Hyde-Bone and the Hyde-Bone is connected back to the Smith-back bone, and eventually all of them are connected to the funny-bone. Only, as they say, 'it only really hurts when you laugh'.